So last night, I had a dream that I fell off a cliff and then got eaten by a zombie. I could (and probably should) chalk that up to spending so much of my waking thoughts on trail preparation and then watching old episodes of The Walking Dead on Netflix before bed. But instead, I've decided to overanalyze it.

What will happen if I get hurt on the trail? What are the chances that'll happen? And is my super-lite first aid kit going to be enough? 

My usual hiking first aid kit consists of ibuprofen, sedated, a benadryl, duct tape and super glue. When they say "duct tape fixes everything", it includes the human body! And anyone who has accidentally glued their fingers together knows that Super Glue bond to skin. (Not that it's ever happened to me!) But I know my usual first aid kit is sorely lacking for a trip of this endeavor. I need to beef up the first aid kit while simultaneously keeping the weight down.

First off, a couple more benadryl and some anti-itch spray. There's gonna be alot of itchy plants out there to encounter. Secondly, blister pads. Yeah, duct tape works pretty well for short excursions, but I think I need something more blister specific out in the wilderness. (Especially since I have a philosophy that if I have the supplies, I won't need it!) At my yearly physical, my doctor gave me a prescription for prophylactic cipro and an epi-pen (I had a significant reaction to a bee sting two years ago). And I'll take along some gauze and anti-chafe lotion for good measure.

I debated for a while on the weight to functionality ratio of multi-vitamins and then I decided that yes, I would take vitamins along. I'm certain going to try to eat well, understanding that that is not always possible. 

But zombies? I haven't really given any though to zombie protection. Until now. And as long as I'm protecting myself against zombies, should I start to think about vampires and werewolves, too? I'm not sure I can carry such an arsenal! 

What to do? What to do? What could possibly be compact and light yet also be effective against all of the supernatural creatures I'm sure to encounter along the way? 

Bugspray.

Outside of the logistics of planning a 5-6 month long hiking trip, there is the daunting task of getting in shape. It's by far the biggest challenge I have ever undertaken. And unlike marathon or triathlon training, there aren't an overabundance of training plans for thru-hiking readily available on the internet. I was just going to have to take my existing experience with endurance training and cobble something together.

Outside magazine's December issue had an article about incorporating Crossfit into marathon training. It even had a 12 week training plan to follow. There were some parts of the plan I really liked, like the idea that going big to build muscle would help you for long distances. And, of course, lots of core work is always good. But as time progressed, I noticed that I was spending an awful lot of time on plyometrics and sprint training and very little on endurance work. And the more I read up on Crossfit, the more it appeared to me that the Crossfit gurus just don't appear to like running. At all. How else would you explain the push to train for a marathon by running as little as possible? Or training for a thru-hike by keeping cardio short and fast? So after four weeks I decided to pull out the aspects I liked about the program (strength and core work) and scrap the rest. 

Then I mixed up my own mish-mash frankenstein thru-hiking training plan. 

My plan consisted of of 6 main factors:
1) Endurance work
2) Strength training
3) Core 
4) Flexibility
5) Equipment workouts
and what I call 6) The "Suck-It-Up-and Deal" workout......

This has been my reading material for the past couple months. I have been devouring everything I can in an attempt to hammer out some logistics for this hike. Yeah, while the rest of the world was gobbling up Fifty Shades of Gray and dreaming of a life filled with passion and naughtiness, I was pouring over hiking guides and dreaming of a life filled with dirt, rain, and mosquitos! That's just the way I roll.

Some of the references from the giant teetering pile beside my bed have been more helpful than others, for sure. But I have gleaned a little bit of something from just about everything, which makes the paper cuts from the pages and lumps on the head from the collapsing pile of books almost worth it.

For instance, even though the AT Thru Hike Planning Workbook  was a bit outdated (he hiked the trail in 1988, for Pete's sake), I did find the gear and food planning checklists handy. And Trail Tested  had me re-thinking all of my old backpacking gear, buying a luggage scale, and scouting EMS and REI for the lightest gear possible (provided it was on sale) But the food suggestions in this book left much to be desired. (I mean, if I was 23 maybe I could hike for months on nothing but PopTarts, Snickers, and Lipton Noodles, but at age 43, that ain't happening. I would die. I would just curl up and disintegrate into a pile of partially-hydrogenated high-fructose anguish)  If you look closely, Backpacker magazine has an article called "The Truth about Bears." I read that at least 16 times. I will probably read it again as soon as I finish writing this.

I believe I have made it perfectly clear that it is not overkill, but in fact completely necessary to have every.single. one of those books. So don't judge me.

Maybe I wasn't getting any practical advice from A Walk in the Woods,  but I really needed to see if the book was as funny as I remembered. (It is.) And perhaps Zero Regrets  (by my celebrity boyfriend, Apolo Ohno) isn't about the Appalachian Trail, per se. Okay, maybe it's not about the AT at all. For all I know, Apolo Ohno has never had a pair of hiking boots on in his life! But c'mon people! Eight Olympic medals. His book's gotta be good for something. Even if it's just pictures.


Of the books, two made the cut to bring along in the pack: The Thru-Hiker's Companion and The AT Guide. They are like Frommer's and Foddors for the woods. I wish I could bring them all, but my tent pile needs to be be significantly smaller. Only the most important and relevant books are allowed along for the trip.

Then again,maybe I should bring Fifty Shades of Gray. 

 

In exactly one month, I will be stepping onto the approach trail to start my thru-hike. I can't believe it. For so long, it has seemed so far away, and suddenly, it's the exact opposite. I feel like I have so many things to get accomplished in the next month. I wonder how I'm going to get it all done.

Life is like that, though. As long as something seems really far off, it has a dream-like quality. That THING you are going to do someday has a misty, unreal aura about it, like you are reading a book about somebody else's life. Then someday gets too close to ignore and reality sets in. It's no longer a dream, it's reality. Everything takes on a sharp edged quality, too bright, too clear, too imminent. Of course, if this didn't happen, how would we be motivated to take action? I know I wouldn't. I'd still be lounging in bed, dreaming of the day I was going to hike the trail.

That day is 31 days away. 

It's time to get to business...the business of panicking! My friend, Isa, calls my melt downs "Pizza Hut Moments". (The original Pizza Hut Moment involved extreme hunger and low blood sugar -- a condition known as h-anger --  but mere stress without the hunger can produce the same effect)

Stay tuned for the next 31 days. You just may be lucky enough to witness a full-on Pizza Hut Moment. They are a sight to behold!

In the meantime, I gotta go get crack-a-lackin'! The count down is on.